First and foremost, money. Housing is expensive. One of the advantages of a dual-income couple is the ability to split bills. Divorcing means you lose that other income. Why not continue to split the bills? It can mean keeping the house you bought as a couple, living in a better neighborhood, or simply having more cash for other things.

Second, a very good reason for Divorcing Divas to share housing is the companionship it offers. You don’t have to go from coupled to solitary. Your housemate can be someone to visit with and maybe have a meal. Just having someone else coming and going with whom you can have a chat takes the edge off.

Third, every home requires a certain amount of maintenance, from taking out the trash, to mowing the lawn, to washing the kitchen floor. With housemates these tasks are shared.

Fourth, housemates can be a godsend in small emergencies. Sick in bed with the flu and need some food in the house? Need a ride to the mechanic? Lost your house key? Going away for the weekend and need someone to feed the cat? And there are the large emergencies. If an accident happens at home, a housemate may discover you before it’s too late. 

And finally, for parents, sharing housing with another single parent has definite advantages. Another adult at home offers the possibility of a night out without paying for babysitting. Kids can play together. Maybe meals are cooked together. Certainly, the burden of having to do it all alone is lifted. As Theresa said, “I could make a quick trip to the grocery store without having to bundle up my kid.”

Money. Company. Tasks. Emergencies.

A good housemate relationship provides all of the above. The key is making sure before you agree to live together that you are a good match and have the same expectations about how you would share your home. Your best friend may not be a good housemate for you. And a friend who has a friend who needs a place to live may not be a good housemate for you. Don’t fall into a shared housing relationship. Be proactive.

Start with an honest look at yourself and how you live, your “must-have’s” and “can’t live with’s.” If you know what they are, you can then screen out potential housemates who aren’t a good match. You also must be able to say “Thanks, but it’s not a good fit.” This isn’t hard once you know the process. A description of the steps for finding a good housemates are here: (link to: http://www.sharinghousing.com/i-need-help-now).

You can learn about much more by reading the book, Sharing Housing, A Guidebook for Finding and Keeping Good Housemates, and you can explore the website: (link to http://www.sharinghousing.com). For single mothers, CoAbode (http://www.coabode.org) is an excellent resource. There’s a database of possible housemates and much wise advice about the selection process.

Divorcing Divas need not live alone. Do yourself a favor. Share your home.